Slings and Arrows
by Nymphean
Summary: This fic follows Celena and Allen Schezar, Gaddes, Millerna and Dryden (among others) as they try to live normal lives in quite abnormal situations one year after the ZOAF is put into effect. Still very much a work in progress.
1. Prologue

Slings and Arrows

Slings and Arrows 

A/n: This should be a good one… I hope! Lots of slash in later chapters, so if you're opposed to that, then don't read this cuz you won't like it very much. Well, that's about all, I think! Enjoy! Oh yeah… I don't own Esca; not the original storyline or the characters. I wish I did. But I don't. Also, I'm afraid I didn't write 'Hamlet'… that credit goes to the wonderful William Shakespeare (if any of you REALLY needed to hear that, then SHAME ON YOU!) All righta… I think that's it. Later all! –Nymphean

Introduction 

** **

** **

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…"

_Allen reflects…_

_ _

__

_My name is Allen Crusade Schezar. I am a Knight Caeli. _

_I'm not a very good brother._

_ _

_There. I've done it. I've admitted to one of my faults. That was frightening. Let's hope I never have to do that again. _

_Most people don't get to see the real me. They are the fortunate ones. Regretfully, my sister, Celena Scherezade Schezar, is not one of those lucky individuals. Which is precisely what makes me a bad brother. Believe it or not, I have my weaknesses. One of them is taking care of children. I can handle a sword better than most men on Gaea, and women adore me. But you can't fool children. They know things. They can see the true nature of a person, which, I'm afraid, is the very thing creating this immense rift between Celena and I._

_From the moment we brought my sister home, exactly one year and one day ago today, I could sense that something was wrong. At first, I simply assumed she had her guard up against all of us, but as the days melted into weeks, and then months, I saw that it was something more than that. She seemed to revert back to early childhood, to the time when she disappeared. She would cry, shrieking wordlessly if she didn't get her own way, and quite often I found myself screaming back, trying desperately to find out what it was she wanted. But she refused to talk to me, and after six or seven months, I just gave up. _

_I still loved her; of course I still loved her. I still do, for that matter. But a year, one full year, with barely even ten words in response to my endless toil, was enough to put me off significantly. Every now and then she would call my name, and I would get all excited, thinking maybe, just maybe… only to find out that she had done something childish like break something valuable or get sick on my most valuable rug or some other rubbish. Of course, it wasn't these things that got me upset. Children cannot help themselves sometimes. No, it was the fact that Celena was not actually a child. She spoke and acted like one, but she was not one. She was a fully-grown young woman, almost sixteen years old. She was old enough to want to wear pretty gowns and go to dances and parties and have suitors, and yet her behavior forced me to dress her in plain housedresses and keep her inside the walls of Schezar manor, where she could neither cause nor get into trouble. _

_It was hard, at first, trying to explain to people why my sister was not attending social events with me. I used to hate it when people would ask, and I always told them the same, contrived story: Unfortunately, my sister has been quite ill and is unable to attend._

_However, after a while, rumors began to circulate around Asturia, rumors which I eventually overheard, the most common being that Celena Schezar was simple-minded, slow, just an idiot with a good name. People stopped asking all together about her. She was an unmentionable taboo. I almost wished they WOULD ask. _

_And now, here we are, a year and a day since I found my little lost sister again, and we're still exactly where we started. I can't help but think that somehow, someway, all this a some bizarre sort of punishment for not trying to find her sooner, for letting her get lost in the first place. Or maybe it's her punishment, a punishment for what she did during those years. But every time I start to think that, I remember that she wasn't herself. It wasn't her fault. The Zaibach sorcerers were powerful, too powerful for one little girl. And so it has to be me. It's a reflection of my ability to nurture, my ability to help other human beings. Or, rather, my lack thereof. I feel as though I could bring her back if I only gave her the love she was robbed of during those years. And I've tried; God knows I've tried as hard as a person can try. But nothing has worked. And so, you see, I've found my greatest weakness of all._

_ _

_I cannot love._


	2. Perchance to Dream...

A/N: Here's the first chapter

A/N: Here's the first chapter. I dunno what to say. It's pretty boring… it'll liven up in a little while, but first I gotta get the boring beginning stuff outta the way… you know how it is! Well, that is all. I'm not going to bother with the disclaimer again… everyone knows I don't own it. –Nymphean

**Chapter 1: Perchance to Dream**

** **

"To die; to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream…"

-William Shakespeare, _Hamlet_

Dryden Fassa straightened the collar of his shirt and rocked back easily onto the heels of his dusty boots. He whistled deeply as her stood before the gates of Schezar manor, gazing intently at the manicured front lawns and gardens, leading up to the sprawling old house. _I can't believe it, a knight with good taste._ Dryden laughed to himself and laid his finger on the buzzer. He gave his name and occupation to the disembodied voice that came through the small intercom, and was told to wait. The voice was female, He noted, and sounded quite bitter and self-involved. Dryden chuckled quietly. How very fitting. 

Moments later, the gates before him swung open, moving as smoothly as the wonderful Sir Allen himself. Try as he might, Dryden couldn't hear a single rusty squeak to satisfy him of the manor's imperfection. _Damn. _

He was shown through the front door, down a long corridor, and to a set of large, ornately carved wooden doors. The maid who was serving as his escort -she could have also been the one on the intercom, thought Dryden, Her face would go perfectly with that voice- opened the doors and ushered him in. 

"Dryden Fassa, sir."

Allen turned towards the doors and nodded icily towards the maid. "Thank you, Ezma. You are excused." The maid curtsied and went out the doors, closing them behind her."Well. Dryden. To what do I owe this… honor?"

Dryden ignored the contemptuous tone with which Allen addressed him. "Why, can't I drop in on an old friend from time to time, just to say hello?"

Allen glared at him. "Perhaps you're unable to read between the lines, so let me make this nice and simple for you; what do you WANT, Fassa? And try to make it quick, _I_ have things to do."

Dryden cocked his head in amusement. "As courteous as always, I see. Well, since you asked, I was actually wondering if you could do me a favor."

Allen started to reply, and then stopped before uttering a single word, letting his mouth hang open for a second. Then he snapped his jaws closed, a look of curiosity passing over his face. "Pardon? I must have heard wrong… Did you just ask me to do you a FAVOR?"

Dryden stuck his hands into his pockets, slouching comfortably. He was thoroughly enjoying every minute of this. "Yes, that's right. A favor."

It was Allen's turn to chuckle. He placed his hand on his forehead. "Are you MAD, Fassa? What would POSSIBLY make you think that I'd even CONSIDER doing YOU a favor?"

"Because I've done quite a number for you in recent years, and no matter how much you despise me, it would be dishonorable to turn me down."

Allen furrowed his brow. The insolent lunatic had a very valid point. He sighed. "As much as it pains me to say this, I AM required, by all laws of common decency, to oblige. So what is this 'favor' you would have me do?"

Dryden grinned. "I knew you'd come around. I need you to deliver a message to Princess Millerna for me. I don't trust any of my messengers to deliver it properly, and, although it kills me to admit it, you are one of the few people who I think can get close enough to the princess to pass the message on." He took a folded paper out of his pocket. "Here. Everything's in this letter." Allen reached out and snatched the letter angrily. 

"I hope you realize I'm not doing this because I'm trying to be friendly," He said, placing the letter into one of the drawers in the desk between the two of them. Dryden shrugged.

"I wasn't trying to initiate friendship, but at the same time I saw no harm in being courteous. You, on the other hand, obviously did." He rocked back onto his heels. "Nice place you got here, Schezar." Allen scowled.

"Thank you," he said through clenched teeth.

"Yes, very nice…" Dryden said appraisingly. Then he caught Allen's eye, and, staring him down defiantly, asked, "And how's your sister? Celena, is it?"

Allen's face turned slightly pink. "My sister's well-being is of no concern to you."

Dryden grinned. "I see I've struck a nerve. So then the rumors are true, are they?"

"Not that it's any concern of yours," Allen said, trying to match Dryden's mocking tone, "But no. My sister is perfectly competent, thank you, but she has been very ill over the past year. This whole ordeal has been a very difficult… adjustment for her, but we really do think she may be coming around."

Dryden narrowed his eyes. "If you say so." Just then, both men heard the door creak open.

"Allen?" said a tentative voice from behind the door. Allen closed his eyes. _Not now… my God… of all times… _

"In here, Celena," He said weakly. 

They both watched as the door was pushed open further, and Dryden heard Allen draw a quick breath. 

Before them stood a tall, slender young woman with hair so light that it seemed to shine like silver in the sun. Allen stood for a moment, simply staring wide-eyed at the beautiful girl before him. She was dressed in a pale blue gown, and her wavy hair cascaded down her back like a small, silver waterfall. The gown was silk, Allen thought, or some other fine material, and it fell straight from her hips, accentuating her curves. She held her hands together in front of her legs, and she stood erect, composed, like a perfect young lady. Allen felt a hot, burning sensation behind his eyes. She was beautiful. His sister looked beautiful.

Celena nodded in his direction. "Good morning, brother. Did you sleep well?"

Allen blinked several times. "Yes," He answered shakily. "And yourself?"

"Better than I ever have, I believe." She started as she saw Dryden, and for a moment, Allen was afraid of what might happen. But she simply placed her hand against her breast and smiled with relief.

"You startled me," she said a little breathlessly. "I didn't know we had company. Allen always forgets to tell me these things, you see." 

Dryden looked at her with… Allen felt like laughing. Was that SHOCK he saw flitting across that smug face? The merchant stuck out his hand. "I, too, have been ill-prepared for this meeting, lady Schezar. You brother, it seems, had neglected to inform me that I would have the privilege of meeting the beautiful lady of the house." He squeezed her hand lightly. "Dryden Fassa, at your service."

Celena laughed, not the twittering laugh of a young woman fooled by the charms of an older man, but a deep, intellectual laugh which seemed to say, 'we shall see about that, won't we?'. Allen was impressed to the point of being dumb-founded. When he finally found himself able to move, he walked around the desk to where his sister stood and put his arm around her. 

"It's so good to see you up and dressed, Celena. You seem to be much better this morning." She looked up at him, and although her face was straight, Allen was certain he saw laughter in her eyes. 

"Yes, I am. I woke up this morning and felt quite good, so I decided to get dressed and come to see you."

Dryden looked at Allen suspiciously, and then looked back at Celena with a kindness that seemed almost false. "Ah, yes… Allen has told me that you've been ill."

Celena nodded solemnly. "Yes, I'm afraid I have, but I'm all better now." 

"Well, I hope it wasn't too painful, whatever it was."

Celena shook her head. "No, to be quite honest, I hardly remember it at all! Perhaps it was some kind of OW! Allen! What was that f…"

Allen shook his head slightly and Celena stopped talking. She brought a hand to her side and rubbed it discreetly, and Allen hoped he hadn't left an elbow-shaped bruise there. 

"I think it's time Mr. Fassa got on his way," he said, glaring at Dryden. 

"Ah, but then I won't have the pleasure of lady Celena's company," He replied. Allen drew in a deep breath. 

"Then we shall walk you to the door, so as not to deprive you of an extra minute or two," he said stiffly, striding towards the doors. Dryden followed, his deep chuckle resonating off the high ceilings of Schezar manor. When the got to the front doors, Allen stepped aside to allow room for Dryden to pass.

"Good day, Mr. Fassa."

Dryden completely ignored him and turned towards Celena. "My lady," He said, taking her hand. "It has been a pleasure to finally meet you." And with that, he pulled her to him and kissed her on the cheek. Allen turned red with anger. "And you, _Sir _Allen," he said, letting go of Celena's hand. "Delightful, as always." His voice was thick with sarcasm that made Allen want to strangle him. Instead, he simply nodded and gestured towards the door. Dryden sauntered lazily down the front walk and out the gates, which Allen ordered closed the second he was sure Dryden had passed through them.

When he had closed the doors, he turned to Celena. "What happened?" He asked, still awe-struck. She shrugged.

"I really don't know, Allen. It was like I woke up from a really long sleep. The last thing I remember, I mean REALLY remember, is you finding me on that battlefield and taking me back home. Then I passed out, and I just have little snatches of memory… but I DO remember you saying that I was sick… How long has it been since the battle? A couple of weeks?"

Allen looked into her eyes. "You really don't remember anything?"

Celena shook her head. "No. Not really. Just flashes, here and there."

"Oh Celena…" Allen put his arms around her and pulled her towards him. Celena drew in a sharp breath, surprised by this outright display of affection. She knew her brother was not the type to let his feelings show, and she realized at that moment just how odd it was that she knew that at all. Her eyes widened with shock as Allen buried his face in her shoulder, the light blue silk turning dark as his tears fell onto it. Celena blinked in confusion. This wasn't right, this wasn't her brother, the brother who, she somehow knew, was the greatest knight in all of Asturia, and who won the hearts of princesses with the same ease that he won fencing matches. No, this weary, tired-looking man weeping on her shoulder, this was not the Allen whom the women swooned over and whom the little boys worshiped and admired. She patted his back gently, still confused by his outburst. 

"Allen, what is it?" She whispered desperately. 

"I tried so hard to make you better… I poured my heart and soul into you for a year and a day… everything I did was for you… and even that didn't matter… You don't even remember."

"A year…" she whispered, growing ridged. "No… It couldn't have been more than a month…"

"A year, Celena. A year ago yesterday I brought you back from that battle feeling like a king, and now look at me." He pulled away from her and gestured towards himself. 

"I… I never knew I was such a burden… it's not as if I had any choice in the matter," she said, straightening her dress and her hair. 

"I never said you were a burden," he replied, looking genuinely remorseful. "It's just that I think I've found the one thing I can't do right."

Now Celena was more confused than ever. "How so?"

"I tried and tried to make you normal again, and nothing worked. I should have known you'd go off and do it your own way anyhow. All I wanted was to help you, and as it turns out, I couldn't even do that. You didn't need me at all." 

Celena was momentarily silenced by this confession. When she found her voice again, she put a hand on her brother's shoulder and said. "But I DID need you. The fact that you stood by me all that time and didn't just throw me away…"

He cut her off. "Don't even talk like that! No matter how difficult things get, you're always my sister. I could never 'just throw you away'. REALLY, Celena!" His voice was scornful, but she could tell that there was relief in it. That relief relieved her. 

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for wasting a year of your life, and I'm sorry I don't remember it. Maybe we can start again, from right now, and just forget any of that ever happened."

Allen smiled at her, his relief shining openly on his face. "I would really like that." Celena grinned back at him, and the jumped towards him and flung her arms around his shoulders. 

"How I've missed you!" She breathed, burying her face in his long, golden hair. Allen picked her up off the floor and twirled her around, surprised at how light she felt. _Just like when we were children…_ It was a couple second before he realized that she had just spoken those exact same words. 

_Allen remembers…_

_ _

_We never spoke of that day again, but I'm sure we would both remember it for the rest of our lives. It was a mystery how Celena came back to herself, a mystery that would remain unexamined and unsolved. At any rate, none of that mattered, now that she was back to normal. We were a family again, after so many years. _

_For the first little while, I was amazed at Celena's abilities. The fact that she went from being completely incoherent to what our acquaintances described as 'brilliant' and 'charming' kept baffling me at first. After a while, though, I began to realize that she subconsciously remembered more than she thought. _

_My first clue that this was the case came when we were sitting one evening by the fire. Celena kept glancing at my harp. Another confession, I play the harp. Yes, yes, I know. Well, during that first year, I was had tried on several occasions to get a reaction out of Celena through my music. She had sat for hours gazing listlessly at my fingers as I played, showing no signs of life except for breathing and the occasional sigh. I would play and play until my fingers were raw and I couldn't bear to play anymore, and then I would stop. Celena, of course, would not move, continuing to stare mindlessly at the spot where I had been sitting. At any rate, on this evening when we were sitting by the fire, I noticed her eyes wandering over to the harp again and again. Finally, I told her that she could touch it if she liked, and if she wanted I could even teach her how to play. Her eyes began to sparkle with that child-like excitement they so often get, and she rushed over to the harp, picking it up like a professional musician. At that point, I was shocked that she even knew how to HOLD the thing. But then she started to move her fingers over the strings, slowly at first, and then faster, more smoothly, the notes coming together and taking shape. I sat, dumbfounded, and she play one of the very songs I used to play for her. When she was finished, she set the harp down carefully, and said "Yes, I would like it if you could show me how to play." I asked her how she learned how to do that, and she told me she didn't know. But as the days went by, she continued to play different songs, until I realized that she had learned my entire repertory and could play it by heart. _

_Her language skills also surprised me. She had leapt from primitive, poorly formed sentences to perfectly intellectual speech. She was on the same level of intelligence as me, and perhaps she was even higher than myself. Her voice was lively and gay, and her conversation was pleasantly stimulating. It was nice to have someone to talk to other than the crew of the Crusade, for a change. _

_Celena made friends easily with my crew. She often spent hours watching them do maintenance on the Crusade and Scherezade. I didn't mind, as long as the men treated her with respect. And they always did. Celena was especially fond of my second in command, Sergeant Gaddes. Gaddes is two years my senior. At first I doubted that a twenty-four- year- old man was really an ideal companion for a sixteen-year-old lady. Don't get me wrong, Gaddes is a dear friend of mine, and I trust him more than anyone on Gaea, but he IS a little rough around the edges, and I had my doubts about the kind of influence someone as… uncultured as Gaddes would have on my sister. But eventually I stopped fretting about it. It would have been a pointless battle anyhow; since he and Celena had become such fast friends, I doubted there would have been any way to convince her not to spend time with him. One thing I learned rather quickly was that I could not control Celena if she didn't want to be controlled. When it came to arguing, she could match me stride for stride every time. And what's more, we seemed to have the same way of thinking, so that she would be able to cut down my arguments before I even began. And she could be unbelievably resolute, never letting go of an argument unless she had won it. It's a Schezar family trait; we don't like to lose._

_But, other than a few occasional skirmishes, everything went pretty smoothly. Celena flourished, and I began to feel much better, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Of course, all that was about to change for me. My momentarily simple life was about to get hopelessly complicated. It all started with a return visit from a very unwelcome guest…_


	3. Taking Arms

A/N: YEA

A/N: YEA! The site is back up! Now it's business as usual… A new chapter… oh yes, this was one of those ones that takes forever to write and then leaves you with nothing to show for it. But hopefully you will get something out of it that I haven't. I bet you're wondering where the slash is… it's coming, don't worry (or worry, if you're like that…). I'm just taking a bit longer than I usually do to get to the "good stuff" *wink wink* I really like this couple, although they're kinda really odd together… Have you noticed how I do that a lot? What can I say; I'm not really a fan of normalcy. Well, whatever. Enjoy! - Nymphean

Chapter 2: Taking Arms

Dryden stormed through the front doors or Schezar Manor, Celena and Gaddes trailing behind him. Celena reached out and touched the angry merchant's shoulder. 

"Can I help you, Mr. Fassa?" Dryden spun around and shook his head. 

"No, dear, this is between your brother and I. Now, where is that chivalrous pile of…"

"Hey now, Dryden," Gaddes said uneasily, "You might want to watch it, eh?" His tone was friendly, but he shot the other man a look that clearly said "Back off". 

"All right, all right… I'll chill." Dryden ran his hands through the mass of curly hair on his head. "I DO need to talk to the boss though, 'f ya don't mind, Sarge." Gaddes nodded. 

"All right. I'll go find him." He looked at Celena. "Maybe you should come with me," he said, giving her a meaningful look. Celena rolled her eyes.

"I think SOMEONE ought to stay with our guest, Gaddes. Go find my brother." Gaddes shook his head and started off down one of the halls. Celena smiled at Dryden. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

He chuckled. "Don't you have servants for that?" she shrugged.

"I guess. I just like being hospitable, that's all." She ushered him into the sitting room. "Please, have a seat." Dryden flopped into a large armchair across from Celena. "So," She said, running her fingers along the edge of the her chair, "What is it, exactly, that's made you so angry with my brother?" 

Dryden laughed sardonically. "Nothing. That rat-bastard just cost me over one million dollars worth of cargo because he couldn't deliver a damned letter on time."

Celena raised her eyebrows. "Well. That certainly is reason enough to be upset, I suppose. But HOW did you lose the cargo?"

__A slightly sheepish smile crossed Dryden's face. "Well, see, that's where it gets sort of tricky. I got this deal from this guy… he lives in Zaibach, and he was going to sell me some old machines and stuff for a song. I could have made millions."

"Wait," said Celena, holding up a finger, "Isn't it strictly forbidden to trade with Zaibach?"

"That's the thing. You're absolutely right. But this guy was a totally reformed man, a good, honest guy just tryin' to keep his family alive, and he came to me with this killer deal. I needed to get special permission from the Princess to trade with him…"

"…So you sent a letter with my brother," Celena finished. "I see. But why not just send one of your own messengers?"

"Don't trust 'em."

"Then why Allen?"

Dryden grinned. "He owed me big time. I've saved his ass a couple times in recent years."

Celena furrowed her brow. "Oh. He never told me. I just got the impression that you two weren't the best of friends."

"No, we're not."

Celena looked at him in confusion. "Then why send such an important message with him? Why not take it yourself?"

Dryden was silent for a moment. "Royalty makes me uncomfortable," he said finally. Celena was certain that he wasn't being quite honest with her, but she didn't say anything. After a few moments of silence, Allen came storming into the room. 

"YOU again? What is it now?" Dryden leapt to his feet.

"I'll tell you what! You cost me over a million dollars, Schezar!"

Allen raised an eyebrow. "Oh REALLY? And how, pray tell, did I manage to do that?"

"The message, you idiot! To the princess! She didn't get it! This is not exactly what I meant by 'returning the favor'"  
Allen snorted with disgust. "Don't be ridiculous, Fassa! Of course she GOT it, I delivered it directly to her. I was there when she opened the damned thing, for pity's sake!"

Dryden shook his head in exasperation. "Well, I know she GOT it, but she didn't get it in time!"

"You never said WHEN I had to deliver it, Fassa, just that I had to deliver it."

"I said it was urgent!" Dryden stomped his foot a little. "This was a once in a lifetime deal, and now thanks to you it done down the drain! You're really not gaining any brownie points here, Schezar!"

"As if I wanted to!" Allen retorted, flipping his hair defiantly. "If you think you have any influence on me…"

A smile flickered across Dryden's face. "That's where you've got it wrong, Allen. I have money. Which means I have power. And people who have power ALWAYS have an influence over those who don't." He said the words coolly, and Celena had the urge to stand up and correct him. Fortunately, she was spared the difficulty. Allen had gotten there first. 

"I am a knight Caeli!" He cried, advancing towards Dryden with a menacing look on his face. "How DARE you suggest that you, a simple MERCHANT, are of a higher order than me!" He put his hand on the hilt of his sword. "Get out of my house, out of my sight, and out of my life! And be forewarned, if you ever, EVER, dishonor my sister or I again, I will kill you."

Dryden shoved his hands in his pockets and chuckled a little. "All right, I'm gone." He began to walk towards the door, his stride slow and lazy and his manner very different from what you would expect of a man whose life had just been threatened. When he had reached the door, he turned back towards them. "And just so you know," he said, "I didn't dishonor your sister. Celena," He nodded at her. "Lovely to see you again." 

"'Bye," Celena said timidly, watching as Allen turned a peculiar shade of red.

"How DARE he?" Allen snarled through clenched teeth. Celena rolled her eyes.

"With all due respect, Allen, I think he's just upset about losing the deal…"

Allen shook his head, golden hair flying everywhere. "No, Celena, you don't KNOW Dryden as well as I do! He doesn't CARE about that! All he cares about is that **I** screwed up and **he** didn't! A million dollars is pocket cash to Dryden Fassa."

Celena fretted her brow. "Oh. I see." She sat silently with her hands in her lap, well aware that Allen was less than pleased with her. After a while, she gathered up the courage to ask him her question. "Allen? Why do you hate Dryden so much?"

Allen shook his head angrily. "I don't want to talk about him, Celena."

"You can't hide behind your anger, Allen. That never works."

He turned to her with a patronizing look of disbelief. "What could you POSSIBLY know about that?"

"Plenty, Allen. Or have you forgotten so quickly where I was for those ten years?"

"That wasn't YOU," he said irritably.

"Not fully," Celena glanced at her hands in her lap, "But I was always there. I was a PART of him, Allen, and He…" She lowered her voice, "He is a part of me."

"Don't talk like that, Celena! What's wrong with you?"

She shook her head. _He doesn't understand. He'll never understand._ "I… I'm not sure…" she brought her hand up to her forehead. "I feel a little faint… perhaps I should go lay down."

Celena reflects…

_ _

_That afternoon I went to my room and vowed not to speak to Allen about Dilandau ever again. To Allen, Dilandau was gone, and I was determined to keep it that way, if only to make things easier for him.It was a vow I would fail to keep, but at that time there was no way I could have possibly known that. _

_I also thought about Dryden. Why did he and my brother despise each other so? What could possibly have happened to create such a huge rift between two otherwise very charming men? I couldn't say for sure, but I was almost certain that it was a woman. That's one good thing that happens when you're a member of the opposite sex for a whole generation: you get to know how they think pretty well. _

_Dryden is handsome in his own way. This is something I had determined when we first met. But there's something more to him, a sort of strange magnetism… even now I can't fully explain it. Dryden is a very… enthralling person. When he speaks, you listen. I could understand how he might seem extremely attractive to a great number of women (not me, though… as charming as Dryden is, he's not and never will be my type). But I had to wonder if any woman out there could possibly find him MORE attractive than my brother. Now before you start thinking things about that last statement, keep in mind that I'm examining this situation from a neutral perspective. And even if I weren't, I would have to be blind, deaf, mute and incredibly stupid not to know that my brother is an extremely attractive man. Not only is he almost perfect as far as looks go, but he also has a certain sort of grace about him. I've heard it said that grace and attitude are Schezar family traits. Guess which one I ended up with?_

_At any rate, I finally came to the conclusion that no matter how much guess work I did, I would never be able to figure out the whole story on my own. So I decided to talk to my most reliable source of information besides my brother: Gaddes. He, at least, would be sure to tell me the whole gory tale, uncensored. _

_So I made a mental note to speak with Gaddes about it later that night. Unfortunately, I would not get the chance to do so until many days later. Little did I know of what was to come within the next hour, and little did I know of the events that would follow…_


	4. That Sleep of Death

A/N: I have decided that this will no longer be a slash fic

A/N: I have decided that this will no longer be a slash fic. No particular reason. I just felt like the paring I had chosen no longer fit with the story and the turns it had begun to take. I may have a bit of slashy innuendo later on, or maybe not, but I am now serving a different purpose and therefore must have a cast of predominantly straight characters. Sorry to all you slash fans out there… maybe next time! But please, I beg you to continue reading and reviewing! I think I have a pretty good plot, not to mention the exploration of a pretty much unexplored potential couple. In this chapter: Friendships, and… more-than-friendships? Conflicts and… ah yes, jealousy!  Thanks to All my reviewers, and to Meg Albatou. Luv ya all!  Disclaimer: I don't own them. I didn't write Hamlet. The text Millerna quotes is from an article on Total Knee Arthroplasty. It was originally written by Robert L. Barrack, M.D. I warped it to suit my needs. The article itself was written by Thomas S. Thornhill, M.D.. For this, I thank them. 

Adios! -Nymphean

Chapter 3: That sleep of death

_"…In that sleep of death, what dreams may come…"_

Gaddes ran down the halls of Schezar manor at top speed. He could feel his pulse throbbing in his head, like it sometimes did when he was piloting the ship through rough skies. __

_Come on… gotta move…_

_ _

__Gaddes skidded to a halt outside the door to the boss's chambers and pounded his fist mercilessly against the wood until the commander opened the door, a worried expression on his face. 

"Gaddes? What is it?"  
"Boss, we got trouble…"

*****

Allen and Gaddes sprinted down the hill that leads from Schezar manor, skidding to a halt about a hundred meters from the gate. Kio, another member of Allen's crew, was standing over what appeared to be a person, laying dead or almost dead in the middle of the road. 

"Kio, what on earth is going on here?"

"Don't ask me boss… I just found him. Looks to me like someone beat him up pretty bad… Looking for money, I'd wager."

Allen reached out and rolled the body over so that he could see the face. "God damn it," He muttered. "Of all people…" 

"Shit!" exclaimed Gaddes "Is that who I think it is?"

Allen rolled his eyes and nodded. "Fassa," he said irritably. "Just our luck." His eyes traveled swiftly over Dryden's battered body. "Well Kio, you certainly weren't exaggerating…the damage appears to be quite extensive."

Kio furrowed his brow and stood up. "Are you going to help him?"

Allen appeared to be seriously considering this. "I wouldn't know what to do… I'm a knight, not a doctor." he said finally. "No, we need someone who is trained to heal, not to inflict wounds." He looked up and met Gaddes' eye. The sergeant nodded.

"Millerna."

*****

The princess stood bent over the unconscious Dryden, her face drawn with worry and concentration. She examined his wounds carefully, a frown flickering on and off her face as she worked. 

Finally, after several minutes of silence, she stood up, turned around and looked at Allen.

"Well?"

She sighed. "It's not looking too good, Allen. I don't know what I… what ANYONE can do."

His eyes widened. "Is he going to…"

"Die? No, that's not likely, but there are certain… complications."

"Like what?"

Millerna cast her eyes towards the floor. "Allen… perhaps it would be better… Don't take this the wrong way, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, perhaps it would be better if you'd just… let me work." Millerna bit her lip. Allen was taken aback for a moment.

"Um," He looked puzzled. "All right then."

Millerna smiled, a bit relieved. "It's not that I don't appreciate your help. It's just that you aren't really… helping."

Allen cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Oh. Well then I guess Ill just… go." He turned and practically ran from the room.

Millerna shook her head and turned back to Dryden.

*****

_"…I want to walk along the edge of the universe…"_

_Millerna drew her knees up to her chest. "That's kind of strange," she said distantly. _

_"I don't think so." He scratched the underside of his chin, deep in thought._

_"But isn't it dangerous? What if you fall?" He laughed at her._

_"I've fallen before, and I've always managed to pick myself up again." He paused. "And anyway, it's not the fall that I'm afraid of… It's the landing." Another laugh._

_"Yes, but…" She hugged her knees tighter. "The impact could kill you."_

_"A chance I'm willing to take."_

_"You're so strange."_

_"And you're not strange enough." His eyes locked with hers. "That's why it didn't work, you know."_

_"I know." She sighed and watched as her breath came out in a soft white cloud. "How did it get so cold in here?"_

_"Well it only makes sense," he replied, shrugging, "You WERE letting your heart out, after all." _

_"What?" He shrugged. Millerna bit her lip. "Do you think I could borrow your jacket?"_

_He shook his head and smiled. "No. You need to find another jacket, princess…"_

_ _

"…Princess?" Millerna started, blinking at how bright the lights were. Had she fallen asleep? Of course… she'd been dreaming…

"Oh," she cried, suddenly realizing how sloppy she must seem "I'm sorry… I must look a fright!" She leapt to her feet and smoothed down her skirts.

"No, it's all right Princess… You must be tired." Sergeant Gaddes was smiling down at her down at her. She breathed a sigh of relief at seeing a friendly face. "Besides, Fassa's not doing anything right now anyways, so what good would it do you to stay awake and watch him?" 

She smiled back at him. "Thank you for understanding. Gaddes. That was an exhausting operation…" Millerna sat back down and rubbed her temples.

"It seems like an awful lot of work. Personally I can't even stand the sight of blood." 

"Yes, I remember," she said laughingly. "You looked as though you were going to faint when we operated on Allen that one time." 

"Oh yeah…" Gaddes chuckled. "That was interesting, to say the least." 

Millerna stifled a yawn. "I'm so tired," she said, shaking her head. 

"Why don't you go rest, then?" Gaddes said, extending his hand to help her up. "I'll watch Fassa until you get up. We can take turns." 

She smiled and gratefully accepted his hand. "I might just take you up on that," she said, yawning again. "I've gotten very little sleep lately. I keep having these strange dreams…" then she laughed again. "You probably don't have the slightest interest in my dreams!" 

Gaddes shook his head. "On the contrary, I'm sure they're quite interesting."

Millerna picked up her doctor's bag and headed towards the door. "To say the least… well, I'll be going now, if you don't mind." 

"Not at all." Gaddes nodded cordially. "Get some rest, your highness." 

"Please," she said before shutting the door. "Call me Millerna."

*****

"Isn't the princess beautiful?" Celena leaned her head against Gaddes comfortable shoulder as the two of them sat in the abandoned living room. Gaddes nodded.

"Of course she is… she has to be. Have you ever met an ugly princess?"

Celena shook her head, slightly annoyed. "That isn't what I meant, although I suppose you're right. I didn't necessarily mean physical beauty, although she certainly has that. I meant that everything about her is just so… pristine. She is definitely the perfect portrait of a lady. I'll never be like that."

"Celena, you can't compare yourself to Millerna. You'll only drive yourself crazy doing it."

Celena frowned. "What's THAT supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing… forget it."

She moved away from him. "I want to know what you meant by that!"

"I just think that by comparing yourself to Millerna, you'll only end up with a lower opinion of yourself." 

"Oh what, so I'm not as good as her or something?" 

Gaddes ran his fingers through his hair. "Gods, Celena… I didn't say that!"

"Well you certainly implied it." She looked at her feet and set her jaw. Gaddes shook his head, knowing that it was absolutely hopeless trying to convince Celena of anything when she was in one of her moods. 

"I didn't imply anything. And besides, you were the one who called her beautiful and then said that you'd never be like her."

"Of course, but you weren't supposed to AGREE with me!" As soon as she said it, Celena realized that it made no sense, even to her. Gaddes threw his hands in the air. 

"Celena Schezar, What on Gaea are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Celena muttered irritably. "Forget it, OK?" They sat in silence for a few seconds before Gaddes stood up and made off towards the door. 

"Where're you going?" Celena said almost plaintively. "I didn't mean for you to LEAVE!"

Gaddes wrinkled his nose in a way that Celena might have considered thoughtful if she hadn't known better. "I know, but sitting there with you all quiet and brooding is bound to drive any normal person mad, and I'm halfway there already, so…"

"I told you to forget it, didn't I?"

"Yes but it's kind of hard to do that when _you_ won't."

Celena frowned at this last statement. "Well." She said haughtily. "You needn't be so difficult about it!" Gaddes sighed as she turned her head pointedly and stared into the fire, pretending to completely ignore his presence.

"OK Celena," he muttered as he closed the door. "You win." He shook his head and started off down the hallway.

Inside the room, Celena sat still for a moment after he'd left, her eyes fixed on the large orange flames. Then, almost mechanically, she stood and walked closer towards the hearth. She picked up the nearest available object (which happened to be one of the velveteen pillows from the sofa) and, letting a small, strangled sound escapes her throat, tossed it into the fire, collapsing to the floor as the flames leapt to consume it. 

_See, now didn't that feel good? _

"Shut up," she muttered, pulling out her handkerchief to dry her tears.

_Didn't that feel good?___

__*****

Princess Millerna rubbed her eyes desperately and stared down at the page in front of her. 

_Concentrate! You have to concentrate! _

She sighed as she re-read the same sentence she had been reading for the past half hour. 

"This is useless!" She muttered, looking over at Dryden's unconscious form. "Sorry Dry," she whispered. "I'm trying as hard as I can." She whipped around in her chair as the door creaked open and placed a hand across her heart as she saw who it was. "Gaddes! You frightened me!"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, closing the door and sitting down in a chair across the room. "Who were you talking to?"

She shook her head. "No-one, I suppose. Just myself. Trying to keep awake." She massaged her temples to try and ward off an impending headache. 

"Well, why don't you just read?" He pointed to the book in her lap.

"Believe me, I'm trying!" She said laughingly, flipping back a few pages and skimming over the text. 

"What is it?"

Millerna turned to the front cover. "Commentary and Perspective on Patellar Resurfacing in Total Knee Arthroplasty." She smiled slightly at his perplexed look. "Fake Kneecaps," she offered.

"Ah. NOW I see."

She nodded. "It really is a complicated process. Listen: '_In the process of resurfacing the damaged patellae during total-knee arthroplasty, it is imperative to recall the importance of restoring patellar height, preserving a minimum of native patellar bone, and achieving the correct orientation of the resection line (inferior resection of the infrapatellar tubercle, superior resection at the junction of the quadraceps tendon, and medial-lateral resection at the chondro-osseous junction).'_"

"Whoa."

Millerna smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry… I must be boring you half to death. I'm becoming so absorbed in this surgery… I'm afraid I can hardly seem to think about anything else!"

"So what exactly does this… this Arithmopalsy…"

"Arthroplasty."

"…ARTHROPLASTY have to do with Dryden?"

She furrowed her brow and looked towards the unconscious man. "Well, at first I didn't think it would be necessary, but it looks now like his kneecap was shattered to pieces by… whoever did this. It's irreformable. So we're going to have to replace his kneecap."

"Ouch."

"Yes, very much so."

Gaddes paused thoughtfully for a moment. Then: "Can you DO that?"

"Well yes. I'VE never PERSONALLY done it, but it's definitely possible."

"You're making my knees hurt just talking about all that!"

"Sorry." She yawned widely. "Goodness… No one ever said it would be EASY being a doctor, but than I never thought it would be so HARD!"

"You can go rest if you want…"

"No, no… I really should keep at this until I've got it figured out. I don't want the bones to set the wrong way. I'd hate to have to break them again."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gaddes looking around the room absent-mindedly while Millerna thumbed through her book. 

"Princess?" He ventured after a while. 

"Hm?"

"I… well, I just wanted to say that I think you're doing is a very brave thing. That is, it's very honorable, what you're doing for Dryden. And I know that your family doesn't approve of you wanting to be a doctor, what with you being a lady and all… hell, even Allen's had a word or two to say about it… but I just wanted you to know that I think you're great at what you do."

She looked at him through narrowed eyes, a smile slowly spreading across her face. "Thank you, Gaddes," she said softly. "Thank you very much."


End file.
